I Saw God Today

When I was in my early 20s one of my very best friends made some not so great choices.  As a result she spent some intensive time in a process of repentance to return where she wanted to be in her life.  Though her process was hard and fraught with negative moments, I have to admit that I was jealous of her journey. 

No, I didn't want to spend months in agony, wishing I'd made different choices.  No, I wasn't jealous of her hard times.  But...I was jealous of the other side of her experience.  I saw that her spirituality was growing in leaps and bounds.  Because of her quest for forgiveness she had a knowledge of, and a relationship with, Christ that I could never truly understand.  The kind of relationship that comes only through a special connection to the core of Christ's purpose, redemption.  I could strive to understand it, but I would never understand it the way someone who hit their knees for months, begging for forgiveness, would.  So, yes, I was a little jealous.

All these years later, I realize that growth comes slowly and my understanding of the Savior and his purpose has matured with me.  But I still looked and I knew that I was missing an understanding of something greater than myself that only comes from being in the trenches, from hard spiritual warfare.

Recently, I've developed an obsession with 80s and 90s country.  I listen to it every time I get in the car.  The other day I was driving home and I heard the old George Straight song, "I Saw God Today."  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q06AvQF5NOw 

It's not really super deep, or anything.  I've certainly heard more spiritual songs, even on popular radio.  But it includes these lines as the chorus. "I've been to church, I've read the book, I know He's there, but I don't look, near as often as I should.  His fingerprints are everywhere, I just look down and stop and stare, open my eye and then I swear, I Saw God Today."

I was tapping along with the beat and I thought to myself, "I don't know what this guy is talking about that he doesn't see God's hand in everything and that he really has to look."  Then, I realized that this condition of seeing God's work in everything comes directly from our adoption experience.  Most certainly, I saw God often before I was adopting.  I've experienced many miracles in my life. 

But being part of the adoption community has shown me dozens of miracles every day.  Real, true miracles.  Mountains that only the Lord could move crumble before families striving to bring their children home.  Obstacles that seem impossible are overcome with small and large events in a never ending series that allows His will to happen.  Even our own adoption bears the hand print of a loving Lord and Father dozens of times over.  After months of seeing miracles happen day in and day out for so many children and so many families, any doubt that our Father in Heaven sees every one of us, cares for every one of us, knows the name of all of his children, has fallen away.  He is the author of miracles, the Father of us all, even lowly orphans, even desperate parents who have no clue what they are doing and are rushing forward anyway, even those of us who don't think we deserve his love.  He is watching.  He loves us.  If we let him, he will show us His hand.

When I had that thought, I remembered what I'd felt like nearly twenty years ago, when I was envious of my friend's precious understanding of a concept bigger than my brain.  I thought, "everyone should experience adoption.  Then they would know.  They would understand the staggering amount of care each of us is given by a God who keeps us."  Even though it was a concept I knew, it was not something weaved into every fiber of my being.  Just how much we are watched over.  Just how much He cares.  I didn't understand because maybe I wasn't looking.  This process, which is honestly hellish, is one of the best things that has ever happened to our family.  This growth is not something we could have reached without stretching, without answering this call, without stepping outside of our comfort zones.  It's very like the experience of my friend.  We're in pain.  Sometimes, we're in downright agony.  We are dragging ourselves through hard times on our way to the finish line.  (So we can get on to the next incredible challenge lol) Because of that agony, because of these hard times, we are experiencing what I wished for years ago.  A deeper understanding.  A softer neck, a bigger heart, a stronger ability to lean not unto my own understanding.

The truth is, there's a million paths to a closer understanding of God and of Jesus.  There's one for all of us.  It's a different for everyone.  But, at this point, I'm pretty sure it's always agony.  I'm pretty sure it's all growing pains, and bad moments, and times we question how much we really want whatever it is we're striving for.  I'm thinking there's no way to grow without it hurting a little.

But, even when it hurts, I'm really so grateful to be on this journey.  For me, this entire adoption has been a spiritual journey more than it will ever be a journey to China.  I'm grateful that God has allowed us to be a part of a community where I see SO many miracles.  If you could see the things I see every day.  Permission given where none seemed possible.  Papers processed where the government seemed to have dropped the ball.  Money coming for people with nothing left in their pockets who are leaving to pick up kids in some war torn Eastern European country.  Protection given where death seems imminent.  Frankly, I'm hard pressed not to see God in everything anymore!

Am I encouraging everyone to adopt?  Always! ;)  But really, I'm just saying start looking and praying and it isn't hard at all to see holiness in the everyday.  Just prepare for a few aches and pains along the way! 

Amber         

    

Skirting the Issue...

Get some new stuff to try and bolster up our matching grant. We have one skirt in this style in the following sizes, size 4/5, size 6/6X, size 7/8, and size 10. Each one comes with a matching skirt for an American Girl sized doll. The two skirts together are $15 plus $3 shipping to my FSP http://reecesrainbow.org/70645/sponsoranderson-2 Remember there's only one set in each size so be sure to let me know which size you want and forward your receipt! Thanks!

For This Child(ren) I Have Prayed

I know that so many voices have been lifted up in prayer for our boys, and for our family.  Because we know so many are interested in seeing our progress, we assume you'll also be interested in seeing our boys!  Our hard LOA got lost in the mail.  Does that normally happen?  Almost never.  But it did happen to us.  We have been approved for going on a month and our hard copy had to be sent out again last week.  It finally came today! 

That means two things!  One, we are approved.  We are matched.  Basically, this is the equivalent of court in other countries.  These boys are ours unless we don't show up to get them (which, barring death, would never happen) and we can name them and everything.  Two, we are approved.  We are matched.  Basically, that means we can slap these boys faces on every FB post, blog and billboard in this whole wide world.  We don't have to hide their faces anymore! 

I know what you all came for!  So without further ado, this is them folks!

Jacob DangXing Anderson

We'd like to introduce you all to our new second oldest child, Jacob.  Jake is 11 and he will fall right in between our two oldest kids, S who is 13 and E who is 10.  Jake has been waiting patiently in an orphanage in the most populace province in China for all 11 years of his life.  When he was about four months old, give or take, he was found on the steps of his orphanage, blue and unresponsive.  It wasn't a sure thing he would even live.  But he did.  And he thrived.  He's well loved by the staff at his facilities, and everyone we've ever spoken to about him tell us how sweet and friendly and freely loving he is.  At different points in his long life as an orphan, Jake has been designated to agencies, but for the last long while, he's been languishing on the shared list.  A list of all the 'less desirable' orphans.  The ones agencies think they can't place.  The shared list is arranged by birth date, newest dates on top.  So Jake was near the bottom.  The place where people don't even keep scrolling because by then they're bored, or the kids are too old.  

Thankfully, Jake had an advocate who'd met him, understood him, and found him the family where his quirky personality would fit right in.  Ours!  Jake likes being silly, watching martial arts movies, telling jokes, playing card games, and making noise.  Sounds just like an Anderson, doesn't he?  This is a boy who desperately is seeking male fellowship and ached for both a father and an older brother.  It was some of the first things he told the advocate about the family he wanted someday.  We love that he will have such a strong father figure, and also the big brother he wanted!  

When he was asked what he'd say if he saw he had a new family, he said, "Baba, I've come home."  This may not mean much to you until you break it down.  Baba is daddy or father in Chinese.  This is a boy whose aching for a dad!  The other interesting thing about this is the fact the words he used in Chinese suggest that he's returning BACK home after having been away.  That he belonged to his family before, and now he is returning to be with us again.  I was literally rendered breathless when I read that, because I believe it.  I believe he has always been ours.  Just...lost.  We didn't know where to find him and he didn't know where to find us.  But God did.  How fortunate we are that He looks out for his children!  

We've had a chance to send some letters back and forth between ourselves and Jake.  Like any preteen, he asked first about computers, TVs, and food lol!  Kid knows what he loves.  We just can't wait to get this board game loving kid home in about three weeks!  

Yelling is just how we roll in the Anderson house!  Open up that mouth wider kid, so the neighbors can hear you, like any other self respecting Anderson!

This is how Jake says something is "Okay" one of the few English words he knows.  I think he likes to use it most when he doesn't understand a word people are saying lol!

Jake already knows how to kick back and relax!  Another invaluable Anderson skill!  Just relax!

Why yes that is an enormous cheesy grin.  No wonder none of our family pictures turn out normal.  I've definitely seen that look before on our other kids.  When they aren't making THIS face instead.

We can't wait to get this guy home and into his new life.  So please prepare to welcome home sweet Jacob DangXing.  We will use both names at the start to see which he prefers.  Jacob was the name of a very good friend of my husband's who recently passed away from aggressive cancer.  DangXing is Jake's Chinese name.  We don't know which he'll like better, so we will use both to start. 

Finn HanWeiQiang Anderson

Finn is our newest middle child.  He's older than G, our baby, but considerably younger than the rest of our ragtag lot.  We aren't sure how old he is in reality, but it's somewhere around five or six.  He's very small, but he also has a very severe version of a genetic blood condition that stunts growth if not properly treated, so really we've got no clue how old he is.  Finn was found abandoned in a hospital in his city when he was around two years old.  It's much harder to tell with children who aren't babies.  We will have him aged when he is home just so we can be sure he is getting appropriate serves and treatments for his age.  

I can't help but feel so sad when I think about Finn's parents.  They discovered their child, that they had held and loved for two years of his life, was sick.  Not just sick, but sick in a way that would require constant treatment for the rest of his life.  Sick in a way that can't be stopped in China.  Only with the advancements of American medicine.  People in China can't afford medical care.  Not even minor issues, let alone major genetic conditions.  And Beta Thalassemia Major is ALWAYS fatal in China.  It's not a matter of if they will die, but just of WHEN.  It doesn't have to be that way here.  Basically, their two choices were keep their child and send him to an early grave, or abandon him when he had no idea what was happening and hope that someone could save him.  Can you imagine?  Can you imagine being told your beloved little one, who is just starting to toddle, and who flashes you dimpled grins covered in graham crackers, and who begs for the same book over and over again, has a terminal disease, let's say cancer for the purpose of this exercise, and that no one can or will treat them.  Not unless you give your child away.  To a stranger.  They won't be back again.  You'll never see them again ever.  I can't imagine the agony of making that choice.  Really, there'd only be one choice you could make, and that's the one that Finn's birth parents made.  I wish there was a way to reach them.  To let know that I share in their pain.  That I can't imagine the horror of being faced with that reality.  

I wish he'd never had to be given away, that he would never have needed another family in the first place, but he was, because this life is not fair, but we are so blessed that he will be our son.  

Finn is a silly boy, a jokester, an irrepressible spirit.  He's clever and funny and mischievous and full of a spark that far outweighs the genetic condition that others might find crushing.  I have a feeling there's nothing this boy won't be able to do if he puts his mind to it!  I have so many adorable videos of this guy, (I don't know how to share them so don't ask lol) where he shows his indomitable spirit.  And his contagious giggle.  Also his hatred of radishes, but mostly his spirit. 

Kicking it summer style.  Does he look cool or what?  Love the little boy capris and the nautical shirt. He looks ready for the beach!  Too bad we live in the desert and are completely landlocked!  But he sure does look cute!

Love this kid's smile.  There's just something about it.  So impish and adorable.  That big stomach he's sporting doesn't mean he's eaten a few too many Twinkies.  It's the result of his distended spleen and liver from his Beta Thal Major and improper treatment.

Chinese kids always make this sign for pictures.  I'm not sure what it means, to be honest, but they sure love it.  No series of pictures is complete without this sign thrown in for good measure!

Look at that face!  Seriously!  Could this kid be any cuter?!  Don't answer that in the comments.  It's a rhetorical question.  The answer couldn't be anything but 'no'.  

Another three weeks or so and this guy will be in our arms.  Can't wait to give him a smoosh!

If you feel so directed, we are still struggling to meet our 4K matching grant.  Without it, we'll have no chance of traveling.  Even after we've met it we will still need another 10K give or take, but after the nearly 40 we've already put up, that seems like so little!  We know God can make this happen!

When our Reece's Rainbow FSP http://reecesrainbow.org/70645/sponsoranderson-2 reaches $11, 236 we will have met our matching grant and will be given another $4,000.  I don't have to say we desperately need that money, but I will anyway ;)  This is important stuff for our journey!  We hope to be offered another grant that could be up to 5k before we travel.  That would be such a blessing!  Please pray for the grant to come through, we could sure use it.  And please pass on our fundraiser post below to your friends or family if you think we're selling something they might be interested in!

Thanks so much for following and participating in our journey.  We literally could not be doing it without the help and encouragement of others!

Amber