LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG Update

I have been putting off an update because it's been crazy levels of chaos over here.  Explaining where we are right now is going to be quite the feat, so please bear with me.  Our homestudy was FINALLY finished at the very end of April.  I can't believe it took so long.  It definitely entered into levels of ridiculousness heretofore unknown.  Within a few days of completion, we started working on the normal steps of an expedite.  A typical expedite takes three or four months, give or take, after the homestudy is finished.  It can be done in less time, but you have to push very hard.  I was thinking that we would be having that kind of expedite.  We expected to travel in maybe July, probably by August for sure, certainly sometime during the summer.

It was perhaps two or three days after we started expediting the steps of our dossier, the beginning days of May, that we received notice from Wayne's orphanage that he was being deemed too sick to be adopted and, in all likelihood, his file would be pulled, rendering him unadoptable.  Because of the nature of his disease, when his file was pulled it was a high probability that his treatment would eventually cease to allow him to pass on in peace, because the doctors have, no doubt, passed the point where Chinese medicine has solutions to offer, aside from maintaining life with no hope of improvement.  Obviously, this was a terrible shock to me and I spent a good straight 18 hours crying.  When I had the initial conversation with the American woman who works in the orphanage with whom I have all my communications, we discussed that she would ask them for more time.

Initially, I was both horrified and furious.  Eventually, I realized that the orphanages decision was made out of concern for him and for our family, not because they didn't care.  Of course, when you have a terrible shock, the immediate reaction is surprise and anger.  But within a couple of days, I saw that they only wanted what was best for everyone involved and if there was an option available for Wayne they wanted to take it, if it was in his best interest.  I experienced a strong testimony that whatever happened was the will of the Lord and I was to have peace and patience.

The request to not pull his file was made, but no answer was given for approximately two weeks.  Those were horrible, stressful, awful weeks.  In that time, I continued to proceed with our expedite as though the answer would be yes.  Because there would be no time to assume it would be no, and then recover later for those lost days and hours.  Finally, however, much discussion was made and it was decided that the adoption could proceed, but needed to happen immediately, within weeks.  This wasn't just an expedite we are talking about, but a super, warp speed, crazy expedite.

Within three weeks of the completion of our homestudy (which was really just a few days ago.  Crazy!) our dossier, including our I-797, was off to China.  At this point, we are waiting to be logged in and receive our letter of approval.  The hope of all parties involved is that this will be an extremely quick process.  Honestly, I had hoped to be logged in by now.  But there's always tomorrow.  The orphanage, our agency and the CCCWA have been in contact with one another, and it looks like it should all happen very quickly.

So to lay it out a little more for you, when we committed to Danny at the end of December we expected that we would travel, at the very soonest, in December of 2014.  Perhaps even closer to eighteen months.  When we committed to Wayne at the very end of January, we knew things would move faster, and we expected that we would travel at the end of summer.  We could tell from the direction our homestudy was taking (fingerprints taken and/or filed wrong THREE TIMES anyone?) that things would be slow there.  So we were giving ourselves three months to be ready to travel after our homestudy.  From there, given the change in our situation, we deeply hope that I will travel within the next three weeks.

Obviously, we didn't expect this and are in way over our heads.  When we committed to Wayne, I prayed all night trying to decide what to do.  I knew that we were green in the adoption world and had no idea what we were doing, and I knew that we didn't have money to pay for an adoption alone.  I also knew that our many, many previous attempts at fundraising had been a total flop and I was going to have to do a lot of trusting in God's will and his interest in this situation if we moved forward with Wayne.  I actually suggested to Heavenly Father that maybe Wayne wasn't the one.  That maybe there would be another family, even though no one had stepped forward for him and he'd been waiting for years and he was, obviously, in a bad way.  But Heavenly Father made it very clear to me that his will for Wayne to join our family.  So we jumped into this feet first, holding our noses and hoping it would be enough to doggy paddle.  Now we're moving even faster and clinging to our pool noodles because there's no way we can touch the bottom.  (Is this enough swimming metaphors for one blog post?)  I will freely admit that we came into this ill prepared.  That we didn't have enough money saved, that we didn't know what to do next at every step of the process, and that we didn't have a plan in place.

Heavenly Father called us.  He told us to 'go and do' and so we did.  We acted in faith, but probably not with an overload of earthly wisdom.  I hope that  there is merit alone in the fact we have done just as we were asked and that, even though we were not prepared before we were called, that God has now made us just what He wants and He needs.  We have done our best to be faithful with the belief and the faith that He would fill in the blanks, the way He does for all of us, every day.  When this is finished we will be older (you should see all the gray in my hair that has popped up in the last couple of months), wiser, and our hearts will be forever changed.  There's a lesson in this for me, especially.  Every single part of this adoption process is very, very far outside of my comfort zone.  I don't like asking for help.  I don't like accepting help.  I don't like sharing my personal thoughts and feelings.  I don't like losing control.  I don't like being aggressive.  I don't like calling people.  I don't like making demands.  I don't like not knowing everything that will happen next.  God is molding us to be the family he wants us to be, and sometimes molding hurts.  Sometimes you get pushed into shapes that seem unnatural, that make you feel awkward, that leave you uncomfortable, or feeling helpless, or even angry.  But, at the end, when you get to see how beautiful the work of art you are a part of truly is, you'll be amazed how much you can't see when your life is in a master's hands.

We are proceeding as quickly as we can, but because of this increased speed and the lack of funds available, I will be traveling alone.  Obviously, I'm not thrilled about this, but I am ready.  In fact, I can't wait to get this show on the road.  Every day that passes without some kind of approval is physically painful.  I have a profound fear of flying.  I rely on Mike to keep me from freaking out when flying and, in fact, will drive sizable distances to avoid getting on a plane.  If I could drive to China, believe me, I would.  I wouldn't care how many days it would take me.  I would prefer that in so very many ways.  But flying it is, and alone I go.  So that part gives me a pause, but the traveling alone really doesn't.  Yet another way we are being asked to grow, expand our boundaries, and change.  I will be doing a lot of praying in that 27 hours.  Or possibly taking a lot of Valium.  We'll see which one wins.

We've had a lot of people ask us what we need now.  We always need prayers.  This situation is profoundly in God's hands.  Things are so out of our control right now that I am basically in a constant state of near panic.  Prayers are what is keeping Wayne alive.  Prayers are what keep the paperwork moving, even when things might normally stand in our way.  Prayer is what keeps the money we need coming from somewhere, even when the financial side looks grim.

We are deeply in need of funds.  Because of the complexity of our situation, the grants we normally would have been able to apply for are largely not an option.  You can't apply for most grants until you have a completed homestudy.  Which we didn't have until less than a month ago.  Then, most grants are cyclical.  You apply and then you catch a deadline.  A committee of some kind will then meet by some appointed date, usually somewhere around four to six months from the deadline, and then they will make their decisions about where to allocate grant funds.  Obviously, this is an efficient system, designed to aid families that are likely to spend over a year preparing to bring their children home.  For us, this will not work.  The majority of grants are not an option for us.  We do have a couple of grant groups who have said they will consider an emergency grant, so we are waiting on some answers there.

The hard truth is that we've already paid around 13K, largely out of our own pockets, and that's all we had.  We're tapped out.  We will have to rely on the belief that God will provide a way to make this happen.  This is His gig.  He has this thing.  Sometimes, that's a hard thing to believe.  We spent many months preparing for what we believed would be our two biggest fundraisers.  A massive, massive yard sale and a Project Sole collection fundraiser.  We spent a great deal of time setting up the Project Sole drop off point.  It was a well used, easily accessible area.  We had a popular radio station morning show announce it every day and they had the flyer on their website. On the day of the drop off, we received, literally, not one pair of shoes.  Obviously, this was not the outcome we anticipated, and certainly not the one we had hoped for.  It was a setback.  We still had the yard sale though.

We rented a huge community center right off a major road.  We had so much stuff that we had to rent a 14 foot U-Haul and still had some trouble fitting it all.  Neon green signs on the road pointed the way, we had ads all over.  We were sure we'd make at least 400 dollars.  But the real hope is that we would get at least 1K.  We had some REALLY nice stuff.  After all of that preparation, all of that work, all of that anticipation and hope...we made $140 dollars.  Honestly, it was a little bit of a blow, but Mike and I were immediately both of the same opinion.  That this is just part of the overall lesson.

I received a strong message to not be discouraged, and I really wasn't.  Obviously, I wasn't pleased, but I wasn't sad either.  I told Mike that I felt it was a message, like, 'Do all you can.  Keep working and keep doing.  But in the end I don't want there to be any question that this is MY miracle'.  When I said that, Mike said he'd felt the same, but in his, always, much more eloquent way, he likened his feelings on the failed fundraisers to the story in Judges, of Gideon and his army of 300.  Gideon raised a great army.  One that was likely powerful enough to defeat the enemy without the aid of God.  But, slowly, God pared his army down until there was only 300 men left, to go up against a strong enemy, one that should have, logically, been impossible to beat with such small forces.  God wanted people to understand that the victory was by the power of His hand, though Gideon could have gone into battle and perhaps secured success as his original army stood.  Heavenly Father wanted it to be clear that only He could have brought this victory.  This is our great battle and our Gideon.  Heavenly Father wants us to understand, wants all those who are watching our struggles and considering how they apply to their own lives, that maybe we could have raised this money alone.  We have certainly tried.  But slowly, He's pared us down to our 300.  Our desperation point where logic says this can't be done.  But faith says it can.  God says it can.  This is His miracle.  These are his precious sons and he holds them in his hands, even now.

Right now, we still have to pay around 21,000 dollars.  We have about 5500 of that already.  So what we really need is around 16K.  Is that a lot of money?  Sure is.  Can we find it alone?  Not a chance.  Can we come up with it through the power of our most high God?  You bet we can.

So that's where we are right now.  I'm not asking anyone to donate.  I hope that our friends and family will, just because everyone loves to feel supported and everyone loves to feel like the things that weigh on their heart are also important to those they love.  If you feel called to donate, please do.  We love and appreciate every penny.  I am just sharing my feelings and expressing where we are right now in this journey.  Money is a huge part of every international adoption and right from the beginning I've tried very hard to not make this journey about money, but about the spirit instead.  But because this is the place we are right now, I just wanted to share our experiences and our feelings.

I am, however, asking for prayers.  Please pray for our sons.  Please pray for our family.  Please pray to give us wisdom and inspiration about where we can look for money.  Please pray that hearts of officials will be softened, that nothing will stand in our path.  Please pray.

Keep watch, as we will be traveling soon and will be updating this blog as we go.  Thank you so much for taking our journey with us.         

Amber

Gorgeous Jewelry for a Good Cause!

We've got some gorgeous jewelry up for purchase to help benefit our adoption.  Take a look below. 

Thank you to artisan Jennifer Radcliffe for designing and creating several pieces of custom jewelry to benefit our adoption!

Navy, blue and orange silver plated necklace. A gorgeous custom piece created by Jennifer Radcliffe. $30 plus shipping. Absolutely beautiful close up. Click and see! Comment below and I will send you an invoice. Thanks!

 

Gorgeous turquoise drop earrings. Beautiful stuff! $18 shipped. Comment below and I'll send you an invoice!

I LOVE these! Large Filigree Green Earrings. These are another wonderful donation from Jennifer Radcliffe! $20 plus shipping. Comment below for an invoice! Thanks!

Red Gold Borderless Pendent. This will come on a necklace and is so cute! $15 plus shipping. Comment below for an invoice. Thanks!

Teal round bracelet. Close up details are adorable! Another custom creation donated by Jennifer Radcliffe. $18 plus shipping. Comment below for an invoice.

 Another gorgeous, heavy faux turquoise necklace. Nice, edgy modern look combined with lovely New Mexico detailing. $20 shipped. Comment below for an invoice. Thanks!

 I've got three of these traditional, but a little bit fun, turquoise necklaces! $20 a piece shipped. Comment for an invoice

 This is the last and most exciting thing! All this gorgeous custom jewelry is the tip of the iceberg! Get the kind of custom piece you're looking for. Made just for you! $100 gift certificate for custom jewelry from Jennifer Radcliffe, available for $60. Comment below for an invoice. Don't miss this one! This lady makes amazing jewelery!


Thanks for looking!

Amber 

Imagine...

Imagine you are brilliant at math and science.  Some day you hope to work as a scientist.  You have untapped potential.  It's not just that you are at the head of your class.  For you, math and science are a gift.  You understand concepts others can't hope to pick up on without help, if they ever manage to understand.  The field is open to you with endless possibilities.  There's no question you have skills that could help change the world! 

Now imagine that you can't get into good schools because your family isn't the right kind of family.  Imagine you couldn't get good jobs, because you didn't have a name that is 'approved' or 'appropriate'.  It sounds like some weird version of a YA novel dystopian future.  Really, it's this boy's future in his native country.  

I'd like to introduce you to Bill.  Bill is a 13 year old boy, waiting for his family in China.  He's a health boy.  Brilliant child.  A whiz at math and science.  He communicates well, is a sweet kid who is easy to get along with.  He's super with computers and like to study.  Bill is a quiet guy, but he's expressive.  In his free time, when he's not busy being a genius, Bill likes to watch Transformers and other movies.  

But Bill's got an issue.  He wants to be a scientist or work with math, maybe theoretical stuff you or I can't hope to follow.  However, his options will be few.  Why?  Because he's an orphan.  They are given last names when they are found.  Those names are not traditional family names.  They are fabricated ones that everybody in the country knows are fake names.  Orphan names.  Not 'good' family names.  Not names that belong to people you hire for jobs.  Not the kind of names you let into a good school, or promote to an important position, if he can even find a placement.  This is not an exaggeration.  Even if this boy could pull himself up by his own bootstraps, he will never escape the stigma of 'orphan'.  It might as well be stamped on his forehead.  

Here is a boy with endless potential with an abrupt end to his possibilities.  He will age out in a little over four months!  That's so little time to give this child the chances he deserves!  Without a family, a period will be added to the end of his story before it even gets started.  

Bill needs a family who is probably already in process.  We have seen it done in that much time from scratch, but it's a very high stakes situation and you'd have to push hard to be there in time!  This boy is amazing!  He could do so much if just given a chance.      

Here's a sample of information that was written about him by a fellow advocate


~~His favorite animal is an elephant. His favorite food is fruit- he loves grapes. In the past, he was scared to be adopted, but he has seen and watched so many of his friends be chosen for adoption and leave. He now has a better understanding of adoption and wants a family too. Madison Adoption Associate's China representative has spoken with him about what adoption means and what it means to age out and he understands and wants to be adopted. His orphanage said he is a very good student and a very good boy. Bill will likely need a family in process to move forward for him.~~

Bill speaks a little English and is so smart it probably wouldn't take him much to learn more when he was home.  Here's this sweet guy

Bill is on the shared list.  So that means that any agency can work his file.  Please spread the word and pray for Bill.  He needs our help to change his world so he can change the whole world!  Message me with any questions, until I can find a better contact for him!  

Amber

I'll Walk With You

So. We should be getting pretty close to traveling to China to pick up our boys. It's turned out to be very fast. Much faster than we anticipated when we first started our journey. This is a map between our home in New Mexico and the province of one of our boys in China. There's 7632 miles between here and the first province. And then another 943 miles between provinces. That's 8575 miles between us and our precious boys. We would love to see every member of our family or our friends to donate one dollar, each to represent one mile, (or more if you like, I won't stop you lol) so that, later, when they can understand us better, we can explain about all the people who walked these 8575 with us to help them come home. I will update a map with every dollar donated from this point forward, and illustrate on the map how close we are getting to our destination. Please join us in our journey and add one mile towards our destination. Each name of the person who donates will be written on the side of our map so that the boys can see it and know every name that walked with us! Updates for where we are on the map will be posted on our Adding Andersons page. Thanks for your support!

The Name IS the Game

It will come as no shock to those who know us that we are having trouble deciding on a name for the boys. I know, I know. It's unbelievable considering our grand tradition of being respectfully asked to please name our newborn something at all, for the love of all that is holy, so they can stop calling her baby girl Anderson even after ten days in the NICU. That being said, we've decided to turn our indecision into a fundraiser! Each of our boys has three potential names. For Danny, the older boy, the names are Samuel, Gideon, and Dean. For Wayne, the younger boy, the possibilities are Elijah, Max, and Matthias. So it's voting time! You can only vote for the names specific to each child. For example, you can't vote "Max" for Danny, or "Gideon" for Wayne. The first name in each group to reach 500.00 worth of donations will be their name! We aren't picky about the amounts of each donation. Just whichever of each set of names reaches 500.00 first is the winner. If you'd like to play, make sure you let us know which name you are voting for. If you donate via our youcaring account, please put the name of choice in your note. If you donate via our RR FSP please PM with your name!

I guess I should probably link the accounts, huh? Youcaring is here http://www.youcaring.com/adoption.../adding-andersons/104719 and our Reece's Rainbow Family Support Profile is here http://reecesrainbow.org/70645/sponsoranderson-2 The RR link has the added benefit of having the only pictures of these boys on the internet to help you make your choice!

Thanks again for your support!